Dating: Better The Second Time Around!
If you search the internet there are THOUSANDS of articles on this topic out there, and most of them give really stupid, useless advice.
Why are they so bad? Well, probably because they were written by guys who aren’t successful with dating and never had been. The author is probably some dork who got divorced and now that he is dating again he thinks that makes him some kind of dating for single dads expert – LOL no.
So That brings us to my first tip, be CAREFUL where you get advice from, because most dating “experts” and gurus are complete morons and/or sketchy PUA creeps.
TIP 1) Be Careful Where You Are Getting Your Dating Advice!
Of course this article will give you some good pointers, and a bit of a foundational understanding… But these tips are only regarding best practices for dating as a single dad. If you have been out of “the game” for a while and are serious about doing better this time around, then I would strongly suggest taking your education a bit farther than simply reading a few random articles on the Internet!
I’ve read a great number of books on dating, attraction and relationships since my divorce, and my top recommended resource is a program called “Pandora’s Box” by a fella named Vin DiCarlo. I recently wrote up a review of the Pandora’s Box course here.
There are a couple of things I really like about this course. For one thing, it offers a truly “scientific” understanding of female psychology, that I think every guy can benefit from. Second, the course shows you how to successfully date quality women, not just score quick “hook ups” like a lot of so-called dating guides do. One note though – the website for this product is very racy, so be sure your kid(s) aren’t around when you check it out.
TIP 2) Don’t Think You Need To Wait Too Long To Get Back In The Dating Pool
A lot of guys take their time getting back into the game after a divorce or a break-up with their baby’s momma. And if you read any of the more “mainstream” advice you will year crazy things about how you should wait YEARS, so you can emotionally “heal”, and other such nonsense.
Ridiculous. You are a man, and as such it is natural that you would desire the companionship of a lovely lady-friend. Don’t deny your natural desires!
I think the real problem occurs when guys try to get back in the game, but they don’t know what they are doing, so they either suffer painful rejections, or they end up hooking up with crazy, messed up women. Having bad experiences like that right after a divorce of break-up can be really damaging.
The trick then, is to start having some positive dating experiences as soon as possible. Only date cool, level headed, quality women, and know what you are doing so you don’t get dumped hard again, and you’ll be fine…. how do you do this? See tip #1.
TIP 3) Don’t Bring Hoes Around Your Kids
Listen, I get it. Sometimes you may get lonely and want to spend time with “easy” women… You know what I am talking about. The kind of chicks you can find down at your local watering hole around closing time, who are looking for any half way decent man to hop in the sack with. No judgement.
That said, it is never a good idea to bring these kinds of women around your offspring. You want to set a good example for your kids in terms of what a healthy adult relationship is supposed to look like. Sure, things didn’t work out with your kid’s mom, but that doesn’t mean that you can’t still set a good example by only bringing home women who you are really serious about.
My rule of thumb is to wait until you have already been seeing a woman for a couple of months and have agreed to be in a monogamous relationship with her, before you introduce her to the kids. That way you can feel confident that she is woman of high moral character.
TIP 4) Consider Dating A Single Mom
Dating a single mom can have a lot of advantages over dating a childless woman. Basically, a woman who has her own kids is going to know the deal.
She’s going to know that you can’t stay out all night drinking because you need to take your kids to a birthday party in the morning, and she’ll be understanding if your car is full of Teddy Grahams and half eaten apple slices.
Also, a single mom will understand that you need to put your kids first and not start acting like a baby when you can’t always make time for her if your kids need you. You’d think that childless women would “get” this, but often they just don’t, even if they are compassionate, intelligent women.
TIP 5) Raise Your Standards Higher (For Relationships)
When it comes to selecting a new serious girlfriend or even a new wife, it is very important to maintain the highest of standards. After all, this new woman is not only going to be your partner, but she is also going to be playing a role in the lives of your children.
Don’t get blinded by the first hot chick with a big butt and a smile. Sure she may be fun to spend a little time with, but when it comes to a relationship you really need to look at her character, her integrity, her behavior etc…
Also – look back at why your past relationships have failed. Often time the cause will lie in picking the wrong woman and settling for somebody who just wasn’t right for you. The thing is, when you have kids the decisions you make effect them too, so it is important for you to be very selective!